Starting a new life

Wow it has been a year and some month I have not been here. It actually feels kind of weird tho, lol. Anyways I have so much to say I don't even know where to start, but I can start saying that Jesus is in my life and I'm planning to keep him there for ever. It feels so good to be able to enjoy and feels his love. It's amazing the things he has been doing for me and I'm not talking about materials things, I'm talking about life in general. He had open my eyes, changing my way of thinking, had made me realized that without him can't move forward in life. We need Jesus to guide us, teach us and lead us to eternal life. I want to be free I want eternal life want joy happiness I want everything god has to offer me. I'm opening my heart my life my everything to him. I praised my lord I worship you. Give me strength, patience, and wisdom to be able to continue worshiping you. You are my god, friend my father my everything. I asked for forgiveness oh mighty father. 

domingo

ayer fue un dia que los ninos y yo nos las pasamos el dia entero en la casa, no tenia ganas de salir y tampoco habia chavo para salir, asi que me puse a doblar una ropa que tenia del dia anterior que la habia lavado y no la habia guardado. Aunque no salimos nos las pasamos chevere qui en casa oyendo musica jugando el nintendo wii y viendo pelicula en netflix, lol mis ninos son bien comico osea todos los ninos creo que tienen algo chistoso en ellos hacen y dicen cosas que para nosotros a lo mejor no tiene sentido pero para ellos es algo grande. Lo baje en la tarde a comprar helado y despues que subimos los bane le di de comer y las 9 los mande a dormir , les prepare su ropa para el dia siguiente para ir a la escuela y yo hable un rato con mi esposo y despues me dormi, y como siempre kenny se paso para mi cama como a la 2 de la manana....asi pase mi domingo con mis ninos....

cayendo duro

hoy amanecio el dia lloviendo mucho, pense que el cielo se iva a caer de tan fuerte que esta cayendo el agua. Ayer yo note que el cielo se nublo de repente y se puso oscuro, pero no pense que iva a caer tanta agua, de mi  parte cuando es dia esta asi no me gusta salir, el dia esta para estar echado en la cama viendo pelicula y dormir todo el dia. Pero asi tuve que salir a llevar a los ninos al colegio pareciamos tres chiflados corriendo para no mojarnos mucho, pero fue en vano para mi llege a casa empapada hahahahaha. los ninos no tanto pk tienen sombrillas, espero que no me emferme de la gripe luego, eso es seria el colmo. La verdad que no me gusta mucho cuando llueve pero estoy consiente que es parte de la naturaleza y que sin agua no podemos vivir, los arboles, plantas, frutas vegetales, animales , y los seres humanos nesecitamos el agua y la lluvia refresca y alimenta el medio ambiente...... 

God

As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

About to lose my breathe,
There's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more,
Searching for that open door.

And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me

The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free.

Take me far away from the battle.
I need you.
Shine on me.

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong
I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

     i will always look up to him, my savior, my lord..

"Didn't know my own strength"

Lost touch with my soul
I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go
Lost sight of my dream
Thought it would be the end of me

I thought I'd never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to
I, I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength

Found hope in my heart
I found the light to life my way out of the dark
Found all that I need here inside of me

I thought I'd never find my way
I thought I'd never lift that weight
I thought I would break

I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength

Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength

There were so many times I wondered
How I'd get through the night
I thought I took all that I could take

I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength

My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength

I was not built to break, no, no
I got to know my own strength

This is a beautiful song, which words describe how i feel sometimes. It reminds me not to give up.

sleepless nights

 So here i am is 11:41 pm and i'm still wide awake, knowing that i have a job interview tomorrow morning, i don't know what's going on with me lately, but i haven't been able to sleep well. Is not like  i'm doing much just siting here in front of the computer writing while i try to watch criminal mind and listen to music at the same time, wow! what a combination don't you think? lol  and believe i am tire, i want to close my eyes but when i try doing it i just be tossing, flipping, and moving all over my bed without any luck. That's a reason of why i pay a visit to the doctor i'm to young to be going through what ever it is going on with me, maybe is lack of vitamin or something. I do know i don't focus as i use to and pretty much i'm always tire. Wondering what's wrong with me? i wont lie i am a little scare and worry of what it might be. Hopefully its nothing wrong and its just stress and anxiety i prefer that than something extreme or not curable. Maybe that's the reason of why when i wake up i always have a body ache in the mornings, maybe is the lack of sleep that is causing my body all this pain and a comforting feeling. I could go weeks going to sleeping at 2 or 3 in the am and its very frustrating, but i need to figure something out that i wont have to take no sleeping pills, nooo way i'm not doing that, i don't believe on pills, maybe natural stuff like tea, roots or leafs might help.

 All i know is that i want to sleep, i want to be able to sleep without been a big deal like any other human being. Is that to much to ask? i don't think so, lol i think i have watch all the episodes of criminal mind, cold cases, without a trace and so on. Ohhh and on top of that my kids come to my bed every single night so you can only imaging, they move a lot and then i'm squish in a corner of the bed so yeah not looking good for me,  that's the story of my life, no wonder i'm always in a bad mood and grumpy, yayyy for me!  

expresiones

La verdad que en estos momentos no tengo mucho que decir solo siento enojo y la misma vez decepcion de muchas cosas, por eso cuando me siento asi me pongo a leer cosas positivas o pienso en cosas bonitas. Casi siempre mi mente esta vagando en el mundo pienso en lo que pueda estar pasando al otro lado de la tierra, que si hay alguien con los mismos problemas que yo. Aunque me sienta triste no voy a dejar que eso me domine ami.